Improve Credit Score Fast Knowledge Base
How can I improve my credit score fast??? I checked my credit score about a month ago on freecreditreport.com and my score was 665. This month I apply for a loan to purchase a home and because I had 2 credit cards almost max out my credit dropped to 590 (that is the score that the loan officer told me I got). I already fixed this problem ... I paid almost half of the balances on both credit cards. I would like to pruchase a home as soon as possible. How long should I wait to see my credit score go up??? Do I need to do something else. Your advise is greatly appreciated.
how fast does your credit score improve after paying off credit cards? I have a good payment history with all my credit lines but I have a lot of revolving credit card debt. I plan on paying them all down to less than 25% balances in the next 3 months. My credit score is now in the low 600's. If you have been in a similar situation how long did it take for you score to come back up to good level (ex. 700+) and any other tricks you used to improve it quickly. thanks
How much and how fast will my credit score improve? Here's the background info: Came to the US in mid-2001, opened my first credit account shortly thereafter. Everything was going great, making ontime payments, keeping my balance low, until mid-2004 when I hit a bump on the road, which resulted in several late payments on several accounts, a couple as late as 60, 90 days. Picked myself up a bit, but have been only able to make minimum payments. Cards are maxed out, which is the reason for my score of 580, I guess. Have about 4K in credit card debt, which I am planning to pay down completely within the next 3 months. How much and how fast can I expect my score to increase? When will it reach a respectable level assuming everything goes well from now on? Thanks in advance. I'm asking because I want buy a house. I have no accounts in collection. All my accounts are open and current, but just very near the credit limit. I have been making on time but minimum payments for the past several years.
How fast does a credit score improve? Let's say my credit score is 580, and the only thing wrong with it is too much "credit utilization", i.e. my total credit limit is 5000 and I am using up 5000 (100%), but all accounts are current and I haven't missed a payment for over two years. If I paid the entire 5000 today, will my credit score be much improved by tomorrow? Next week? Next month? How soon will I see significant changes?
whats the best/fastest way to improve credit score? can someone please tell me the best way to fix a bad credit score. (i live in the UK by the way) I'v sorted out my finances now and paid off all my debts but i'm constantly being refused credit cos of my past. I'v had no ccj's, only missed payments.
What is the fastest way to improve your credit score? My husband and I are looking to buy a house soon and I want to get the best credit score possible for lenders to approve us. What should I do? Get more credit cards or bring the ones I have to a zero balance? What else?
What is the fastest way to improve your credit score? I need to bump up my credit score by about 100 points in 60 days. What are some tips to maximize my results?
How fast can I improved a credit score of 574? I want to buy a house, but I have a 574 credit scored. What can I do?
Credit Help...? I have been going back and forth with this and have recieved a lot of great help, but at the same time it is confuseing. I have account that are old..3-4 years and not really a lot of money. I'm in a position where i can pay these account off, however i'm not sure that is a good thing. If I do it in writing and pay it in full with part of the deal being that they delete it from my credit, does that improve my credit score? Also, what if they decide against it, does that restart the clock on thr 7 years? I want to improve my credit score fast, as apposed to waiting 3-4 years for things to clear. But I heard that paying or settleing may negatively reflect your score..what can I do?
Trying to improve my credit score? I have read that obtaining either a student or secured card will be a good place to start. I also read about a secured loan from my bank. The question is should I do both at the same time or wait a while? I know its not a good idea to apply for or open too many cards at once and i wasn't sure if this applied here also. I'm just trying to do as much as I can as fast as I can without comprimising any progress. I have no debt now, but also no credit score.
Does this work for your credit report and what is the method? Hello, This is a quoate from a website I went to:----> Dave's CREDIT SCORE BOOSTER MANUAL was written to give you the extra boost you need right now. It contains additional tips and tricks to improve your credit score fast. But the real treat is the last method outlined in the manual. This one technique is so powerful it can add ten years of good payment history to your credit report within 30 days. This quickly makes you look like a better credit risk to the lenders and boosts your score dramatically.If you were to buy this manual on its own and read nothing else, this one method would make it well worth your time. It is amazingly simple and it is almost completely unknown. And it works every time. Does anyone know what the above method is and how it works?
how fast can i improve my credit? HI! I have just been approved for a student loan thru a private loan company, and I also have had a cell phone I have been paying early for 6 months. How quickly can I see an improvement in my credit score paying on these 2 things, on time or even early?
How to improve my credit faster? I want to get a condo when they ran my credit score I had 587 points my guy had 448 score but I make enough money to get it on my own the only thing I have in my credit is about $2500 in doctor bills on my credit so do I just pay it all off or call them to make a payment plan pay monthly I am thinking about 5 months the agent told me I just need 620 score which its like 33 points. I have no credit cards just hospital bills worth $2500
Will several secured credit cards at one time improve my credit faster? I have a poor credit rating but I intend to buy a house in 10 months to a year. I'm gonna ramp up my effort to increase my credit score over that time as much as I can. Will multi secured credit cards help me accomplish my objective. If I get them, I'm gonna turn them over to my wife who has excellent credit and allow her to maintain them...what do you guys think
Raising credit score? what is the best and fastest way to raise your FICO credit score. What things stick out the most the they dont like, and what can be done to raise the score? Paying off debts, like credit cards? I Two cards with pretty high limits that are not even activated yet, but sure they show up on my report. They have not been used at all. but are availabe for use once activated with home phone call. I could call and close these out completly. I have two other cards, once 1200 balance and other 2200 balanece Thats it. What is the best thing to do to improve the score the fastest? Right now I am at a 694 score (Tier B) Thanks
What is the best way to improve your credit score? I am looking for the fastest way.I have been behind on a few bills,but basically am current.
Improving your credit score(Experts only please)? This question is for experts only.I have cleared all the derog from my credit and all three bureaus show as paid on all outstanding debt. I currently have an average of 590-610 score on all three EFX,XPN,TUC.I have a $1900 deferred student loan.And I have a $15,000 auto with FMCC that show six of current payments.My score was in the low 500's before I put the auto loan on there.If I drop the student loan will my score rise faster and what else can I do to get my score to rise faster.
How do i improve my really bad credit fast? I have really bad credit due to bad decisions... I think my score is 510... ouch... I've gotten myself into this rutt and now I need out. How do I get it up fast?
Is it better to pay off 1 credit card, then the other, or split the money and pay both equally? I had 2 credit cards max'd out. I've paid 1 card down, so it now only carries a balance of 30% of the credit limit. Should I continue to pay that one down to zero and start on the next, or should I now attack the other to get that balance down below 50% of the limit. I've been told my credit score will improve faster if i now throw all my extra money at the max'd out card to lower it to less than 50%. Is this true? Interest rates are the same on both.
How fast does credit scoring go up? Hey everyone- I have another question about credit. I’ve just paid off 2 major things on my credit report and mailed them to all three credit companies. My question is, does anyone know if this makes your score go up? And when you pay your car on time, does it automatically go up? If so how much?. Any answers will help I’m trying to improve my credit..
how EXACTLY do you raise a credit score? Pay off in full, or payments? I was wondering if someone could tell me how exactly my score could be raised the fastest. I have 2 credit cards, one with $300, the other with $2,500. Each with 12%APR. I want my credit score to improve (i think its only 700) so whats the best way to go about it? Is it better to pay off a credit card in full or make payments? (My minimum payments are about $25 month, i always put at LEAST $60/month on each & was only late ONE time the entire 2 years i've had the cards) THANKS I already have 2 credit cards, i dont want to open a 3rd. Thats how people get into huge debt. I HAVE the money to pay off the card in full.. what i am asking is SHOULD i or just keep doing payments?
What is the best, fastest and easiest way to LEGALLY improve your credit scores with the 3 credit bureaus? I have been paying on time, but want to clean up old and outdated info.
What is the best and fastest way for my husband to raise his credit score by 40 points? We want to refinance to lock in a fixed rate. (and possibly pay off around $10,000 in credit card debt- but that is not necessary) He has a few late payments on a couple smaller balance accounts that are screwing up his credit score. My credit isn't that great either, plus I don't work (Stay at home mom) We owe $190,000 on our house and it's been appraised (by a relator/friend) for at least $360,000. We know that his credit score will affect the refinance process but we have a few months to try to improve his credit score. Any ideas are much appreciated
Credit Score Building - No Score on Transunion? Hi, I have a Score of 730 on Experian and 743 on Equifax But nothing on TransUnion. Few Questions : How do I go about getting rating on Transunion. ? How can I go about improving my score. ? On my Credit Summary, I have 0 under all these items for the 3 bureau Experian / Equifax / Transunion: REAL ESTATE ACCOUNTS: INSTALLMENT ACCOUNTS: OTHER ACCOUNTS: COLLECTION ACCOUNTS: ACCOUNTS SUMMARY: Open Accounts: 1 1 0 Closed Accounts: 0 0 0 Public Records: 0 0 0 Inquiries: 5 1 1 On My Account History : Account Name: WELLS FARGO BANK Account Number: XXXXXXX Acct Type: Credit Card - Revolving Terms Acct Status: Open Monthly Payment: Date Open: 1/1/2007 Balance: $0.00 Terms: Revolving High Balance: Limit: $4,000.00 Past Due: Payment Status: Current Comments: CREDIT CARD Not much history. What should be my next step to build up fast. Thank you. I use to be in he 600's A friend ofmine recently added me on his account. He has a 700-750 credit. That would explain the jump. But wouldn't this info show up on my account history ? also can i ask wells fargo to report my new account to Transunion themselves ? Could my Fico score be affected by having transunion updating my records ? I already have 5 inquiries. should i try to get a couple more CC + a target or macy's card. and keep building using them . ? which card do you advise for my case. ? how much points could i loose for having 3 more queries in my situation. ? I live in a roomate situation for which my name is not on the bills. Should i add my name on one or more bills and pays them online ? Any utilities better to be on ? Gas, Cable etc.. Thank you very much for your complement answers.
credit score range? I have a Credit Score of 665 , how can I improve this ??!! My credit went down because of a legal matter, and since it has been resolved it is going back up BUT not fast enough! barcelona.la
Will double payments improve your credit? I have a small mortgage on my home that costs me about $1000 a month. My credit score is approximately 685 and I was hoping to start pushing it up past the 700 mark. Somebody told me that if I have my electronic bill payment make two $500 payments every two weeks instead of a once-a-month $1000 payment that my credit could actually climb faster. Any thoughts?
Does "piggy backing" really improve your credit? I've read that there is such a thing as "piggy backing" wherein you are added as a user to the credit card of another person who has a long and consistently good payment history, and that this is supposed to boost your credit score. How effective is this really? And how fast does it work? In theory, it sounds like it should only work for someone with "no credit", but can it work for someone with "bad credit" as well??? Thanks.
Is it better to pay off revolving debt at a low rate or installment debt at a higher rate? Let's say you have a student loan at 8 percent and credit card debt at a fixed 3.99 percent. Conventional Wisdom says pay off the higher rate debt first. But, I have read that paying off credit card debt faster improves your credit score, which can save you thousands on a mortgage. So is it better to pay off the lower rate credit card debt and improve the credit score, or the higher rate debt and save the immediate money on interest.
Faster credit recovery!? My fiance and I are trying to figure out the best way to improve his debt! I am a person that has never carried a debt and have prefect credit... he, on the other hand, made a few mistakes when he was 18 and also wasn't the greatest and dealing with his finances as he grew up. I whipped him into shape and he paid off all of his credits cards and has no debt whatsoever. He's looking at a credit score of 585ish. Now that he has recovered, what can he do to improve it? Should he charge things to his credit card and pay it in full every time the bill comes? Or is it better to not charge at all. Any other tips would help! We'd really like for his score to improve by the time we get married. I just had to cosign a financing plan with him for our engagement ring due to his credit :( At 18, he didn't pay his credit card bills... once he got that fixed up, he kept a balance on his credit card, but kept making payments on time (well over the minimum balance, but never enough to pay it off until now). I heard that if you carry a balance over half of your credit limit on a credit card that it lowers your credit score! Anyway, as I said, his credit card balance is zero now.
How can I improve my credit? I need to increase my FICO score, and FAST!! What can I do??
How to build good credit in one year? I know how, why so fast , I got 730 credit score of Tran union in one year. I'm new comer to USA. 1. try to apply for Credit Card such as Chase! 2. Pay off all the bill on time with full entire balance. 3. Spent as u can afford by paid full in the end of month 4. Cancel any unnessary Credit Card 5. Open checking & saving account 6. Request Credit report at least once in six months 7. try to sign up any credit union membership At first I tried to apply for any credit card companies, but they didn't approve me, except chase with APR 23% with $ 300 credit limit. Right now I got $1200 credit limit & APR 12%, and I got a credit union membership. I got a lot of credit card offer, I'm so excited, otherwise I knew it's not best score, but it's considered good credit. I have to improve it more. I can loan installment just 11% APR. Trust ME U GUYS! It will be worked!
Need some help fast? my husband and I are trying to find an apartment in new york city. We have bad credit score. how can i improve my credit... . thanks.
Fastest track to improving FICO scores? My spouse's credit is bad enough that she can't get approved for much, we've tried. We paid off everything she had outstanding and she is now on good terms in the sense of being current and paid off. She has been in good standing with payments and zero balances for about 10 months. She just recently applied for a very marginal line of credit and was declined. Can someone tell me about how long its going to take before my spouse's credit score is repaired enough to reasonably expect to be granted a loan or be included on our mortgage? months? years? Should we try to get her a credit card with a very, very low limit to try and start to rebuild a consistent credit history. Currently she has 1 open credit card account that she doesn't even use and her student loan. Would it be better to use the card or not? Will using it properly help her FICO score improve?
After a collection is paid off do granters look past that mark? After I have paid off a collection and my credit report states that it is closed and paid in full, do granters look past this. On my current credit score I have 6 negative marks, 4 of the 6 are paid in full and closed. From what I have read on here it seems to be a lengthly process of trying to get that mark removed before the seven years are up. It has been over 2 years and my credit score is rebounding but it doesn't seem like it is going up very fast. Is there any I can do to improve my credit score to get me great interest rates? Also I have presented offers to the original creditors to pay the accounts in full if they will pull them back and none have taken any of the offers. Correct me if i'm wrong but from my understanding once an account is sent to collections the original creditor is paid the unpaid balance in full from the collection agency and the agency comes after you and tacks on an agency fee? Thanks in advance!
Trying to raise my FICO fast-do I pay 3 cards down to 30% balance first or focus on all cards to 50% balance? I have way to many cards with a balance. I have three cards that I can pay down this month to 30% of the balance because the amount isn't too large. I have 8 cards above 50% but paying the smallest down to 50% of the available credit will take longer. If I want to improve my FICO score as soon as possible, can paying down the 3 balances to 30% of the available credit now make a difference? Or do I have to wait and pay down all my cards to 50% of the balance before I can see a rise in my FICO score? Thanks for that first answer, but I probably should have mentioned that I'm trying to get about 30 additional points so that I can get from "fair" to "good" credit score. I wish there was something like the fundingsuite.com software available for consumers. The screenshots on their video show an example credit report that give a simulation that if the person paid down balances to 50% on a specific card there would be a 3 or 4 pt increase in their score. I am also writing 3 letters asking for goodwill removal of one-time 30 day late payments four years ago. I may be forced to relocate in a few months and my score is currently 644. If I can get it up I'll get much better mortgage terms! Then I'll get to work on reducing all cc debt and keeping the score up....
Buying a house in 2009/2010. What should I be doing now? Here's my situation: 1) OK FICO score (~640). Working on improving it. 2) OK handle on debt (at most $500 on credit card, $17,000 in student loans). 3) Current salary is about $31k, but I have reason to believe a promotion is coming in the next 12 months. 4) Median house price in my area is currently $216k. 5) I have been putting about 5% into a 401k at work, but prefer not to touch that, even for a house. I have a few hundred dollars in company stock (which is down right now) and another few hundred in a savings account. Other than that, no savings. 6) Current rent is about $500/month. Given all of the above, what steps should I be taking now to get ready to buy a house in a couple of years? Is it better to pay off debt as fast as I can, or to put money into the bank for a down payment? I'm also keeping one credit card (trying to keep it paid off each month), with a view to raising my credit score. Is this a good strategy? Finally, when should I contact a realtor? Would you recommend forgoing adding to my 401k (and passing up the company match) in order to build up my down payment faster?
How should I go about paying of the debt below? This is all the debt I owe in life but because of collections late payments, its really lowered my score. I dont know what to attack first. The smaller items, the collection items, the credit card items? I want to do what will help improve the score the most and the fastest, eventually (soon) paying it all off. dentist$145Collection verizon$200Collection/ old phone cardiolo$225Collection/medical Macy$440Credit card/ active good standing nextel$450Collection Cap 1$520Credit card/ active good standing BOA$920Closed but I still get a statement Visa$2,135Collection/ so old from it's not top priority Taxes$5,500Don’t ask/on installment plan School$18,000On installment plan Total Debt$28,535
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How they have sex...? ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ANSI does it in the standard way ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal. BARBERS do it with shear pleasure. BARTENDERS do it on the rocks. BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base. BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often. BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey. BEER BREWERS do it with more hops. BEER DRINKERS get more head. BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds. BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry. BOSSES delegate the task to others. BOWLERS have bigger balls. BRICKLAYERS lay all day. BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber. BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time. BUTCHERS have better meat. C'Bers do it on the air. CAMPERS do it in a tent. CARPENTERS hammer it harder. CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor. CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm. CHEMISTS like to experiment. CHESS PLAYERS check their mates. CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation. CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically. CLOWNS do it for laughs. COACHES whistle while they work. COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs. COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs. COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop. COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software. CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation. CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it. COPS have bigger guns. COWBOYS handle anything horny. COWGIRLS like to ride bareback. CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls. CREDIT MANAGERS always collect. DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds. DEADHEADS do it with Jerry. DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck. DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts. DENTISTS do it in your mouth. DETECTIVES do it under cover. DIETICIANS eat better. DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack. DIVERS do it deeper. DOCTORS do it with patience. DRUGGISTS fill your prescription. DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time. DRY WALLER'S are better bangers. ELECTRICIANS check your shorts. ENGINEERS charge by the hour. EXECUTIVES have large staffs. FARMERS spread it around. FIREMEN are always in heat. FISHERMEN are proud of their rods. FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard. FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush. FURRIERS appreciate good beaver. GARBAGE MEN come once a week. GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses. GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day. GEOLOGISTS are great explorers. GOLFERS do it in 18 holes. GYMNASTS mount and dismount well. HACKERS do it with fewer instructions. HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs. HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency. HANDYMEN like good screws. HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision. HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer. HUNTERS do it with a bang. INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers. INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house. INVENTORS find a way. JANITORS clean up afterwards. JEWELERS mount real gems. JOGGERS do it on the run. LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper. LAWYERS do it in their briefs. LIBRARIANS do it quietly. LOCKSMITHS can get into anything. LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer. MACHINISTS make the best screws. MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye. MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet. MANAGERS supervise others. MARKETING REPs do it on commission. MILKMEN deliver twice a week. MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done. MINERS sink deeper shafts. MINISTERS do it on Sundays. MISSILE MEN have better thrust. MODELS do it in any position. MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters. MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs. MOVIE STARS do it on film. MUSICIANS do it with rhythm. NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing. NURSES call the shots. OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under. OPERATORS do it person-to-person. OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face. PAINTERS do it with longer strokes. PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash. PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion. PILOTS keep it up longer. PLUMBERS do it under the sink. POLICEMEN like big busts. POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected. POSTMEN come slower. PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets. PRINTERS reproduce the fastest. PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end. PROFESSORS do it by the book. RACERS like to come in first. RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall.. RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it. REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots. RECYCLERS use it again. REPAIRMEN can fix anything. REPORTERS do it daily. RESEARCHERS are still looking for it. RETAILERS move their merchandise. ROOFERS do it on top. RUNNERS get into more pants. SAILORS like to be blown. SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues. SCIENTISTS discovered it. SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5. SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop. SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls. SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists. SPELUNKERS do it underground. SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay. STEWARDESSES do it in the air. STUDENTS use their heads. SURGEONS are smooth operators. TAILORS make it fit. TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town. TAXIDERMISTS mount anything. TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking. TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals. TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls. TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks. TRUCKERS carry bigger loads. TYPISTS do it in triplicate. VETERINARIANS are ***** lovers. VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up. WAITRESSES serve it piping hot. WATER SKIERS come down harder. WELDERS have hotter rods. WRESTLERS know the best holds. WRITERS have novel ways. ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.
How they have SEX? ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ANSI does it in the standard way ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal. BARBERS do it with shear pleasure. BARTENDERS do it on the rocks. BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base. BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often. BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey. BEER BREWERS do it with more hops. BEER DRINKERS get more head. BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds. BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry. BOSSES delegate the task to others. BOWLERS have bigger balls. BRICKLAYERS lay all day. BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber. BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time. BUTCHERS have better meat. C'Bers do it on the air. CAMPERS do it in a tent. CARPENTERS hammer it harder. CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor. CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm. CHEMISTS like to experiment. CHESS PLAYERS check their mates. CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation. CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically. CLOWNS do it for laughs. COACHES whistle while they work. COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs. COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs. COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop. COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software. CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation. CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it. COPS have bigger guns. COWBOYS handle anything horny. COWGIRLS like to ride bareback. CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls. CREDIT MANAGERS always collect. DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds. DEADHEADS do it with Jerry. DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck. DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts. DENTISTS do it in your mouth. DETECTIVES do it under cover. DIETICIANS eat better. DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack. DIVERS do it deeper. DOCTORS do it with patience. DRUGGISTS fill your prescription. DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time. DRY WALLER'S are better bangers. ELECTRICIANS check your shorts. ENGINEERS charge by the hour. EXECUTIVES have large staffs. FARMERS spread it around. FIREMEN are always in heat. FISHERMEN are proud of their rods. FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard. FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush. FURRIERS appreciate good beaver. GARBAGE MEN come once a week. GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses. GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day. GEOLOGISTS are great explorers. GOLFERS do it in 18 holes. GYMNASTS mount and dismount well. HACKERS do it with fewer instructions. HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs. HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency. HANDYMEN like good screws. HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision. HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer. HUNTERS do it with a bang. INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers. INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house. INVENTORS find a way. JANITORS clean up afterwards. JEWELERS mount real gems. JOGGERS do it on the run. LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper. LAWYERS do it in their briefs. LIBRARIANS do it quietly. LOCKSMITHS can get into anything. LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer. MACHINISTS make the best screws. MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye. MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet. MANAGERS supervise others. MARKETING REPs do it on commission. MILKMEN deliver twice a week. MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done. MINERS sink deeper shafts. MINISTERS do it on Sundays. MISSILE MEN have better thrust. MODELS do it in any position. MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters. MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs. MOVIE STARS do it on film. MUSICIANS do it with rhythm. NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing. NURSES call the shots. OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under. OPERATORS do it person-to-person. OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face. PAINTERS do it with longer strokes. PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash. PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion. PILOTS keep it up longer. PLUMBERS do it under the sink. POLICEMEN like big busts. POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected. POSTMEN come slower. PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets. PRINTERS reproduce the fastest. PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end. PROFESSORS do it by the book. RACERS like to come in first. RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall.. RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it. REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots. RECYCLERS use it again. REPAIRMEN can fix anything. REPORTERS do it daily. RESEARCHERS are still looking for it. RETAILERS move their merchandise. ROOFERS do it on top. RUNNERS get into more pants. SAILORS like to be blown. SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues. SCIENTISTS discovered it. SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5. SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop. SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls. SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists. SPELUNKERS do it underground. SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay. STEWARDESSES do it in the air. STUDENTS use their heads. SURGEONS are smooth operators. TAILORS make it fit. TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town. TAXIDERMISTS mount anything. TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking. TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals. TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls. TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks. TRUCKERS carry bigger loads. TYPISTS do it in triplicate. VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers. VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up. WAITRESSES serve it piping hot. WATER SKIERS come down harder. WELDERS have hotter rods. WRESTLERS know the best holds. WRITERS have novel ways.
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